Considering homeschooling?

On taking the first step, and letting your children take the lead. By Jill Haugh

I remember what it was like to be considering homeschooling, and I’ve never forgotten this bit of advice offered to me from a homeschooling mom as we chatted over coffee: Prepare to be poor; get ready to be around your kids–a lot; And say good-bye to personal time-forever.

Are you still reading this or have you clicked on the nearest website touting the merits of private schools in Switzerland? For reasons beyond my ken, I heard what that homeschooling mom said and continued on the homeschooling journey anyway. And you know what? For the most part– she was right.

Poverty? Check. A one income household is a tough row to hoe. If your significant other makes enough to support the family, more power to you. I worked evenings, tag-teaming childcare with my husband but for the most part our family took a ding financially, though we did learn to live with less.

Kids 24/7? Yup. They’re always around; like a bad rash.

Asking how to spell “arachnoid” or “What is the capital of

Missouri?” or “Have you a seen a pen that actually works?”

(Most of the time these questions were asked while I was in

the bathroom, which leads to the next item on our list.)

Free time? What is that exactly? My free time has been spent in museums looking at geodes, spelunking in caves marveling at stalagmites, creating literature lessons on the fly and checking math problems while I make tuna sandwiches for lunch or driving, driving, driving to yet another homeschool history, art, drama, fiber arts or writing class.

I hear you asking, “Why do this crazy thing then?”

Why homeschool?

No two homeschooling families have exactly the same answer. My only answer is this: I chose to homeschool because I was compelled to live a life of my own design, and I wanted our child to have that opportunity too. Despite the many manuals and “how to homeschool” books and websites there are out there, ultimately, you and your kids are the ones who will create your homeschool experience, and therein lies the work– and the fun too.

When I first decided to homeschool I read everything on the subject, trying to figure out which type of homeschooling family we would be. But it wasn’t that simple. “Neti, Neti,” is a Sanskrit saying which means, “Not this. Not this.” And this was how I ended up approaching it: We weren’t the living in a hay-bale house raising chickens kind of homeschooling family; we weren’t the building solar generators out of potatoes and winning college-scholarships kind of family; we didn’t live on a boat and sail around the world; we didn’t have a special classroom in our house where we would go for eight hours a day to imitate public school; we certainly weren’t like that homeschool family on television and their (how many now?) umpteen children. What kind of homeschooling family were we anyway?

Just like becoming a parent is a process of discovery, so is becoming a homeschooling family. And here’s the real truth: You just make it up as you go along, with your children guiding you, and eventually you find out just who you are in the process. I know! Sounds crazy right?

Aren’t there all sorts of standards and test scores, and well, rules for homeschooling?

Not really. Homeschooling is legal in all fifty states and since the federal government does not regulate education, each state has its own laws regarding homeschooling. Depending on where you live and what your state’s DPI requirements are, you have the freedom to choose whether or not to use a curriculum, how and where you have your “class-time” and the subjects you decide to focus on. This open-ended idea of education can be a difficult notion to get used to. We have been long-taught that experts know better than we do what our children should and should not learn. I mean, they have degrees in this stuff, right? But these ideas of standards should be taken with a grain of salt. After all, they are just ideas. If it really bothers you, check out education requirements in the US and other countries. You’ll soon learn that education standards are arbitrary, and while perhaps applicable to an institutionalized setting, standards really don’t have much merit in a homeschool setting when you are sitting across from a kid who just wants to learn everything there is about dinosaurs.

Follow your child’s lead.

So, you go with dinosaurs. You read endless books on the topic, growing your child’s vocabulary skills (and yours) with words like Dilophosaurus. You talk about concepts likeevolution and extinction, you study timelines about the Paleolithic and the Pleistocene eras, you go out in the street and, chalk in hand, pace off the length of a Triceratops in comparison to a Brachiosaur and before you know it, it’s math class. You build habitats for your child’s dozen plastic dinosaurs out of green bath towels, pans of water, spider-plants and chicken bones. You practice writing out all the dinosaur’s names. You bury a wooden dinosaur skeleton in the back-yard garden and dig it up like an archeologist. You talk about hierarchy in the food chain, predators and prey species, omnivores and herbivores and before you know it–four months have gone by. Have you covered exactly what standardized education would have covered in that time period? Do you care anymore? Your child is engaged and learning and so are you. When people ask you if your child is “keeping up” with second grade, you find you really don’t know-and more importantly, you don’t care. You know your child is learning. You see them loving the learning process and that’s what sucks you in to homeschooling and keeps you going.

So how do you begin? Just as you might research any long journey start with researching homeschooling and become familiar with the terrain. You will be a “homeschooler” too. With the freedom comes a responsibility to begin your own journey of learning, and I have found much comfort and wisdom in hearing the experiences of others.

That said, there are a few all too familiar questions about homeschooling you will hear while on the journey. And frankly, they’re a good place to start.

Are there any state regulations regarding homeschooling? The internet is loaded with information, groups, class ideas, chat-rooms and enough information to make your head spin. But a good place to start is thinking local.What are your state’s requirements for homeschooling? Do you need a degree? That depends. HSLDA is a good place to start, (links listed below) and you don’t need to join to benefit from their website. However, since all states have their own homeschooling parents’ association, searching out your own home-state’s resources is the best place to begin. Libraries are a great resource too. You may find many homeschool groups are not listed publicly or online for privacy reasons. I have been involved in two such groups, with hundreds of members and heard about them only through word of mouth. But don’t worry! Homeschooling families are very resourceful, and you will find them or they will find you. Networking, starting or joining playgroups of your own and exchanging information and building relationships with other homeschooling families is truly essential to the process. And it just makes you feel good too.

Do I need a curriculum? Maybe…maybe not. Some parents and their kids like them and use them, some fly by the seat of their pants, some make up their own, some use online classrooms and homeschool websites. We’ve used all of these in the past but as always, my child’s interests held sway over the topics we focused on. How do you know what to teach? I would ask, “What is your child interested in?” Read homeschooling magazines, research online, talk to other parents, talk to your children. Begin laying the foundation.

What about socialization? Ah yes, the “S” word. Unless you are holding class in a bomb shelter awaiting the end of the world, you will be up to your eyeballs in social situations. There are just too many homeschooling and real-life opportunities out there. And if there aren’t–start some! We had history clubs and book clubs, creative writing group and play-dates at the beach. Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts and dance class and Youth in Government. The list goes on and on. The only real fear is becoming what I call a “car-schooler” in our attempt to over achieve as homeschooling parents. (It’s a requirement.) Besides, isn’t it more “normal” for a child to be with their family, siblings and friends rather than in a group of thirty-two kids all their age… and one adult? That’s not “normal”-that’s an institution. If your child isn’t socialized you need to get out of the house and out into life; not necessarily into school. Besides, I always felt institutionalized socialization was what I was trying to avoid, not establish.

Taking the plunge

As you begin your journey into becoming a homeschooling family, you will realize it really is not much different than what you have been doing with your child all along. Learning with our children is a natural, spontaneous occurrence. Research, plan and dream but don’t let thinking get in the way of learning. Let them lead, and let it happen.

Jill Haugh is a writer, wife-number-one and homeschooling mother of two, wrangling words between sink-loads of wishes and trying not to drive us all off the next cliff-hanger. I can be found at my quaint and quirky blog, “I had a little nut-tree…” where I rattle on about the writerly life as if I had one. http://jillhaugh.blogspot.com

 Read Jill’s Blog at  Jill Haugh

& Visit  HSLDA for more Information